Welcome to this noble path, my dear friend. Your wish to become a guide for the soul at the moment of its greatest transition is a true expression of the Bodhisattva path. It requires courage. Yet believe me: there is no more precious gift one person can offer another. As your guide, I want to assure you: you do not need special abilities.
Your primary instrument is your loving, unwaveringly calm presence — and proper preparation. In taking on this role, you become a “spiritual midwife,” helping a person be born into a new form. Below I have prepared a step-by-step guide for assembling the “Helper’s Kit” — both practical and spiritual. Use it as a checklist.
PART 1: Material Preparation (What to Gather)
To create a sacred space — a mandala of transition — you will need objects that engage all the senses while they are still functioning.
Visual Supports (Sight)
Images: print or obtain thangkas (Buddhist icons) of Buddha Amitabha (the Buddha of Boundless Light, depicted in red), the Medicine Buddha (depicted in blue), or the dying person’s Root Teacher.
How to use them: position them so the person can see them effortlessly — at the foot of the bed or to the side. This imprints wholesome impressions in the consciousness during the dissolution of the Fire element.
Physical Care (Touch and Taste)
Saffron water: pure water with a pinch of genuine saffron. In Tibet, saffron is considered a purifying substance. Tool: cotton swabs or a soft sponge. During the dissolution of the Water element — when the lips become dry — gently moisten them with this water.
Sacred substances: if you have access to a Tibetan Buddhist center, obtain mani pills (consecrated herbal pellets). Dissolve them in water and place a drop on the tongue.
Tactile Supports
Cloth or covering: prepare a clean, light-colored cloth made from natural materials — cotton or silk. There are special Buddhist coverings with printed mantras (Namcho or Kalachakra Mandala) that are placed on the body of the dying person for blessing.
If these are unavailable, a simple clean white sheet is sufficient — it symbolizes the Clear Light. Prayer beads (Mala): preferably made from bodhi seeds, sandalwood, or rock crystal. Place them in the dying person’s hand — this physically calms the mind.
Scent (Smell)
What to use: high-quality, low-smoke Tibetan incense, or pure essential oil of sandalwood or agarwood (oud). Important rule: do not burn incense directly near the face, as this may cause coughing.
Light it in the hallway, or place a drop of oil on a cloth in the room. The scent of sandalwood brings the brain into an alpha state and helps release earthly attachments.
PART 2: Spiritual Preparation (Sound and Mantras)
Sound (Ether) is the first element of creation and the last to dissolve. Hearing remains with the dying person the longest. Recite mantras gently, melodically, without strain.
A crucial practical note: if you play mantras from a phone or tablet, be sure to disable the internet and download the tracks in advance. Otherwise, an unexpected advertisement or phone call may interrupt the moment of transition.
Here are the three principal mantras for accompaniment:
1. The Mantra of Buddha Amitabha
Purpose: helps consciousness move toward the Pure Land of Sukhavati — a favorable rebirth free from suffering.
Text: OM AMI DEWA HRIH.
Practice: whisper it into the ear of the dying person, especially as the breath becomes infrequent.
2. The Mantra of the Medicine Buddha (Bhaisajyaguru)
Purpose: a supremely powerful means of purifying negative karma accumulated across this and previous lives. It dispels fear.
Text: TAYATA OM BEKANDZE BEKANDZE MAHA BEKANDZE RADZA SAMUDGATE SOHA.
Practice: recite aloud while the person is still conscious, so they may silently repeat it along with you.
3. The Mantra of Great Compassion (Avalokiteshvara)
Purpose: a universal mantra of love that envelops the space with peace.
Text: OM MANI PADME HUM.
Authoritative Sources for Study and Listening
The Foundation for the Preservation of the Mahayana Tradition (FPMT). This is the most reliable organization, founded by Lama Zopa Rinpoche, who compiled comprehensive instructions for assisting the dying.
Primary source and materials: fpmt.org/death/ . Here is free booklets, mantra recordings, and Lama Zopa Rinpoche’s guidance.
I strongly encourage you to read Lama Zopa Rinpoche’s book “How to Enjoy Death: Preparing to Meet Death Without Fear.” It is an absolute must-read for any helper.
PART 3: Your Inner State (A Word of Guidance)
Dear friend, the most important element of this kit is you yourself.
The dying person is losing control over reality. Your composure will become their anchor. Breathe steadily. The tears and lamentations of loved ones are anchors that pull the dying person’s consciousness backward. It triggering the pain of attachment. If family members are weeping, gently but firmly ask them to leave the room.
Inside the room, the atmosphere should feel like a luminous send-off toward a distant and beautiful journey. Speak to them: “You have done everything right in this life. We will manage here without you — we love you, and we are letting you go. Move toward the Light.”
To be a steady anchor for another person, you must first have met impermanence within yourself. Vipassana is precisely the practice that prepares the mind for this. And now you can take it online, without leaving home.
Summary
Key points:
- The Helper’s Kit should include objects for sight (thangkas). For touch and taste (saffron water, a clean covering, prayer beads). And for smell (sandalwood), and hearing (mantras).
- The principal mantras: Amitabha (for a favorable rebirth).The Medicine Buddha (for karma purification). Avalokiteshvara (for compassion).
- Special attention: no sudden sounds; audio tracks downloaded without ads. Those who are weeping should not be at the bedside.
Suggested Next Steps
Gather these items into a clean, dedicated container or box in advance. Let this “Transition Chest” sit in your home, ready and waiting. Simply having it there will ease your anxiety. In the moment that matters, you will not need to scramble for anything.
You will simply take it, and begin your sacred work. I am certain that your compassion will light the way for whoever you are called to accompany.
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